Origins, Loss and Creative Spirit

I grew up a middle child between two boys. Amidst the hot wheels, mutilated Barbie dolls and Legos, art was a thread that bound us together, especially the eldest and I, Karam.

Somehow all fighting suspended in favor of learning to bead different insects and hosting raging manga drawing marathons. Of course, there was always competition for “best insect” and “most accurate drawing.”

While both artistic, Karam had the charisma. There’s nothing like a bit of rivalry to fuel your creativity.

Parallel to this, much of my youth was spent torn between two seemingly irreconcilable worlds.

As a first a generation Lebanese-American Muslim, I was reminded of my otherness every time attendance was taken in class. 

Maya Fak…

It’s  pronounced FAK-RI-DEEN, I’d say with a smile.

Oh, well that’s not so hard!

As I grew older, I learned that there is much to be celebrated about the reality I was living. While my father yearned for homeland, I was already at home, for the most part.

I developed a deep respect for the traditions, my faith and the Lebanese food (please try it if you haven’t). My otherness became my uniqueness, my hijab an outward proclamation of God consciousness.

I’d like to go back to Karam. For reasons too personal to share here, my brother lost his life at just 18. Needless to say this was a tragedy in my family and set a very different tone at home. It was my first real experience with death, and forced a question to the forefront of my being:

Who am I (and what am I here for)?

A question that I now accept to be a continuous journey of self discovery, an inward path with infinite depth. My work celebrates this by attempting to go beyond the form into the world of symbol, and is amplified by a desire to bring joy to every life that I touch. And when I need a little push, I look for my brother's spirit, because it has manifested into the strongest creative force I could ever imagine.

So, what's up with the photo of the black book? It's a book of memories I hand bound and illustrated, containing the precious memories I shared here, and it was one of the projects that brought me tremendous healing. Did you notice the blue beads?

With peace.